To everything, a season

   The day I've been dreading for the past 18 years is finally here. On Thursday, we will load my daughter's belongings into her car and take her to college. It's a day she's been anticipating and one I've put in the back of my mind, hoping it would not arrive as fast as it has.
   I've watched her prepare for college all summer long. From orientation to picking out bedding and decorations for her dorm room. She is greeting the next chapter of her life with excitement and I have no doubt she will experience some of the best times of her life in college. Although I'm having a hard time letting go, I know letting go is part of being a parent. I just wish it didn't hurt so much.  It's one of the many seasons of change throughout a child's life. For us, it's a big change as we adjust to becoming "empty nesters."
   Through tears, I began thinking of all the things I will miss about having her at home. I'll miss the sound of her laugh when she is watching one of her favorite television shows. I'll miss the smell of her perfume and hair products wafting through the hallway in the mornings. I'll miss peeking in her room in the middle of the night to check on her. I'll miss her sitting at the kitchen table talking to me while I'm cooking supper. I'll miss the sound of the back door opening and her saying, "I'm home." I'll miss going into her room searching for my favorite earrings she's borrowed. I'll miss her coming into my room at night and sitting next to me while we talk about her day, boys, school, friendships and her plans for the future.
   I'll miss those goodnight hugs she's never outgrown, kissing her on the forehead and the sound of "I love you mom" before she goes to bed. Most of all, I'll miss her daily presence.
Although the things I will miss about her are many, there's so much more I'm looking forward to.  I look forward to hearing about her classes, professors and new friends. I look forward to random text messages during the week to let me know she's doing okay. I look forward to the phone calls, hearing about the food in the cafeteria, the late night study sessions and the excitement of being on her own. I look forward to the first time she comes home for a visit and the pile of laundry she will bring with her. I look forward to watching this chapter of her life unfold.
   Many times over the summer, I've thought about all the things I want her to know before she leaves. You know, the typical mom things like, "Don't talk to strangers. Make sure you don't walk across campus at night. Don't answer the door if it's late! Use your GPS so you don't get lost driving."  When I tell her these things, she just nods and says, "Yes, Mom...I know…you've already told me." She usually says it as she pats me on the hand to let me know everything is going to be okay. It never hurts to say something again, right? Out of all the things going through my mind I want to make sure she knows, the two most important ones are: I'm very proud of her and I love her more than she will ever know.
   In my heart, I see a little round faced girl with her hair in pigtails excitedly nervous about the first day of Kindergarten. In my mind, I see a beautiful young woman who is excited about her first year of college. As I walk away from her dorm tomorrow and begin the trip home, I will do so with the scripture Ecclesiastes 3:1 in my mind, "To every thing there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven."

A day at the beach

   As I stood barefoot in the sand, the warm and salty water of the Gulf of Mexico washed over my feet. Just as quickly as the waves rushed in, they flowed back into the Gulf only to do it all over again.

   The sun was beaming down on me, but a cool breeze blowing off the water made for a perfect evening. There were a few boats off in the distance and as far as the eye could see was water. I laughed to myself about how the end of the water in the distance looked as if you would fall off the edge if you got too close. Good thing Christopher Columbus ventured further than the eye could see!

   There’s nothing quite like standing in front of the ocean to make you feel minuscule; even a small wave has the strength to knock you to your feet. It’s in that very moment, you feel such a deep connection to the one who created it all.

   I sat down and watched as my husband and daughter floated in the water on their brightly colored tubes. I captured that moment in my mind as I realized there won’t always be moments like these. Even though she is about to head off to college in a couple of weeks, he stayed close to her just like he did when she was little.

   Two little girls were collecting seashells just a few feet from me, giggling with excitement as they found a new one. When their hands were full, they ran to their dad who was waiting with a bucket. He beamed each time they rushed to him with their new finds. I imagined he was capturing this moment in time as well.

   I noticed my husband and daughter had drifted further down, so I turned my attention to the sand. Growing up in rural America, there were not many opportunities to build sand castles, so I channeled my inner child and began digging in the sand. I wrote my name and watched the water wash it away and built a small one tower castle that washed away within minutes after building it.

   During my time on the beach, I felt such a spiritual connection to the world. I don’t always have difficulty expressing myself, but I’ve found it hard to put into words how I felt that day. For the first time in a long time, I noticed every single sound, every smell and every movement around me. At that moment, everything was right in the world. 

We're going to Jackson

   When planning our vacation, we decided driving all day wasn't so much fun last year, so we broke our trip up just a bit. Our first stop put us in Jackson, Mississippi where we stayed one night. Thanks to the song by Johnny Cash and June Carter-Cash, I sang, "We're going to Jackson...." many times during our brief stay. It's one of those get in your head kind of songs! 

   Jackson is a city of about 145,000 people and is the state capital.Although we did not spent a lot of time in Jackson, something happened that will stick with me the rest of my life. 

   We arrived around 9 p.m. and were happy to see Chili's adjacent to the hotel. We had been on the road quite a while and were tired and hungry. After checking into our room, we walked across the parking lot to the restaurant. The parking lot was full, so we were sure we would have a bit of a wait.

   When we walked into the restaurant, we noticed something different. Aside from the waitress and a manager, we were the only white people in the whole place. Growing up with friends who were African-Americans and to this day having friends of color, it didn't phase me, my husband or daughter in the least. The host told us it would be a 30 minute wait, so we sat down and that's when I felt as if I were in someone else's shoes.

   As we were waiting, I began thinking about being in a city in the south, who saw plenty of conflicts when African Americans were fighting for their civil rights. There were times in this city (and across the United States) when blacks and whites could not be in the same restaurant. There were times when a black family were surrounded by whites and felt like outcasts. There were times when hate filled the hearts of so many people that it almost tore our country apart. 

   For a moment I completely understood how it felt to be different in the sense of race. I wondered if some of the people in the restaurant had grown up in Jackson and had grandparents or parents who never had the opportunity to sit in a restaurant with people of a different race. I wondered if there were some in there who looked at us with dislike because of the past. It was my hopes nobody did, because as I looked at the many tables of men, women and children dining....I saw Americans. 

   I believe our country has made great strides since Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. marched on Washington and Rosa Parks stood up and spoke for her generation. I believe our country is the greatest on earth, but I do believe there is still healing to do.

   How do we heal? For me, I think we heal the present by treating others with respect. We heal the present by not clinging to things in the past that are symbols of times when all Americans were not treated fairly. We can heal the present by viewing one another as equals. 

   Recently, a controversial flag has taken center stage and has stirred up emotions, hard feelings and conflict across the south. For me, I question the genuineness of those who want to fly the rebel flag now.Why now? I'd challenge anyone who wants to fly it to give me reasons why this flag has such meaning to you.  I've grown up in the same town my entire life and have never seen anyone fly the rebel flag. Because it has recently made the news and has been taken down in states across the south, people automatically feel some connection to it. It makes no sense to me. 

   The flag is not a representation of now....it's a representation of the past. For me, it should stay in the past so we can move forward as a country. 

   Our past is our past and scholars will write about it so future generations can know the history of their country. Not all the history of the United States gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling. Some of it is heartbreaking, but it is history. When future generations are reading about our country decades from now, wouldn't it be great if they read about how our country was strengthened by love and not divided by hate?

   

How do you want to be remembered?

 

 My closet is full of t-shirts related to our town's mascot. Almost everyone of them has a catch phrase or slogan that holds meaning to the team that particular year. As I was looking through a large stack, I found one that read, "How do you want to be remembered?" I sat the shirt aside, but for the rest of the day, I kept thinking about the slogan and wondered how I would be remembered one day.

   To get an idea of what others might think about me, I began thinking about friends and family and how I would remember each one of them if they were not here. I'll have to admit, I teared up a bit when I realized how they have been such a huge part of my life. 

   Thinking of friends and family, some of the following thoughts crossed my mind:

1. She is the most talented person I've ever known.
2. He never fails to be there when someone needs him.
3. She has the best sense of humor...she always makes me laugh!
4. She is the kindest person I know.
5. He is a success because he's worked so hard for it his whole life. 
6. She is a strong Christian woman who influences everyone she meets

   Now it was time to think of how others would remember me, but most importantly, how I want to be remembered. It is my hope I will first be remembered as a kind soul who loved God, her family and friends. I only have one shot at this life and I think it's important to leave a good impression on others. I realize not everyone is going to like me and I'm okay with that. Those who do, I want them to remember me with good thoughts. So, here is my list....a few ways I hope others remember me when God calls me home.

1. She had a great sense of humor and making people laugh. 
2. She loved kids.
3. She loved her high school football team...a lot!
4. She had a passion for life.
5. She worked hard to be successful and make her dreams come true.
6. She made a difference in someone's life.

   If you start each morning with the thought, "How do you want to be remembered?" I think it will completely change how you interact with others. I think we will learn to let the small things go, not to overreact, to show kindness when we really want to be anything but kind and to be more conscious of our daily interactions with others. A seven word question.....pretty powerful!

   Think about it....how do you want to be remembered? 

   

The Playlist of my Life

   I have several friends who are really big on making playlists for every occasion in life. I'm always quite impressed with the end result and appreciate the time that goes into creating a one of a kind creation to commemorate the event.
   While listening to online radio at work, I began thinking about the music that was playing and what songs I would select for a playlist of my life. After much thought, I came up with the following list. So....what songs would make it on the playlist of your life?

The Playlist of Ginger's Life
  1. Groovy Kind of Love - Phil Collins
  2. Feels So Good - Chuck Manigone
  3. Crazy - Gnarls Barkley
  4. Gentle On My Mind - Glen Campbell
  5. Welcome to the Jungle - Guns 'n Roses
  6. Friday I'm In Love - The Cure
  7. I Melt With You - Modern English
  8. And We Danced - The Hooters
  9. Take The Money and Run - Steve Miller Band
10. Keep On Rockin' Me Baby - Steve Miller Band
11. Blank Space - Taylor Swift
12. Your Song - Elton John
13. What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong
14. Common People - Pulp
15. Jump - Van Halen
16. Cough Syrup - Young the Giant
17. Born In The U.S.A - Bruce Springsteen
18. Raspberry Beret - Prince
19. I Think We're Alone Now - Tiffany
20. Hey Ya - Outkast

Chasing the elusive white ball…

   In an attempt to share my husband's love of golf, I've tried numerous times to play the sport. I think I've only made it through eighteen holes a handful of times before I got completely frustrated and traded the clubs in for driving the golf cart. That, I'm good at!
   Golf appears to be the easiest sport on the planet…until you step into the tee box.
   There is so much that goes into hitting that little white ball. I usually spend five minutes trying to remember how to line up, how to grip the club (should I lace my fingers or not?), how to stand and how far to put the tee in the ground. I'm mentally exhausted before I ever tee off!
   I'm not much of a practice swing golfer, which drives my husband crazy. He'll always ask, "Don't you want to take a practice swing?" The tone in his voice is always more of a statement than a question, but after 26 years of marriage he knows what my answer is going to be.
   One of the last times we played, I was prepared to play the best golf game of my life. On the first hole, I stood in the tee box and mentally pictured myself smacking the ball straight down the fairway within feet of the green. This was it…I was pumped and ready for the next LPGA tour.
   I pulled the club back, my chin touched my left shoulder and I swung through with all my might. I looked into the air to spot the ball, but knew I must have hit it farther because I still couldn't see it. As I stood there with my hand shading my eyes looking for my ball in the distance, my husband quietly said, "It's still on the tee."
   The look on my face must have been a good one, so my quick thinking husband said, "It's okay, it's just a practice swing."
   After another attempt, we were finally able to begin playing. I hit it straight down the fairway, just not quite as far as I envisioned. You see, this is where the game of golf tricks you into believing you are good. On one hole, you'll hit it straight to the green and sink the putt of a lifetime for a birdie. On the next hole, you spend five minutes in the rough looking for your ball and then miss a two foot putt by a mile for a double bogey.
   Out of all the golf lingo (eagle, birdie, par, bogey) the one I'm most familiar with is mulligan and trust me, if you play golf the way I do, a mulligan is your best friend.
   I admire those who play the game and have come to realize it's more than who can shoot the lowest score. It's about challenging yourself and enjoying another day we have not been promised.
   As of late, I've taken to just riding along in the cart with my husband, camera in hand, taking in the scenery.  My hometown is fortunate to have a beautiful course, which provides for some amazing shots for the photography lover.
   As I look out over the breathtaking course and watch golfers chase that elusive white ball, I'm reminded of a quote by the legendary Bobby Jones. He said, "Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots — but you have to play the ball where it lies."

Sweet Summertime

   My heart belongs to Fall, but Summer ranks a close second. Summer always brings back memories of being a kid and having the time of your life for three whole months!
 

I love the sounds and the smells of the season. Fresh cut grass, flowers and tanning oil. Wouldn't that make a great Scentsy?! Although I'm not a fan of the scorching heat (A fair-skinned redhead and the blistering sun just don't get along!) I do enjoy the longer days, star-filled nights with fireflies and sno-cones!
  I spent a lot of time at the swimming pool. Some of you may remember an earlier post about my brush with death on high dive. If you have not read it, look back in the archives and you will get a good laugh! I can remember being so tired from being in the pool, I thought I would drown a time or two. There was always that one boy who thought it was cool to dunk the girls and hold their head under water. At the time, it made me mad and I wanted to punch their lights out. Looking back, it's just a boys way of flirting! Nothing says love like trying to drown the girl your heart yearns for!
   Riding bicycles was also on the list during those three months of freedom. My friends and I would ride all over town without a care in the world. We told our parents we were going riding and that was it. No cellphones to contact us, they just trusted we would be back before sunset and we always were. One summer my friend and I noticed a white van with black windows going through the park. Of course we had to concoct an elaborate conspiracy theory about who was in the van and what they were doing. I'm pretty sure we thought they were kidnapping kids and throwing them in the back of their van and taking them to Mexico!
   When we didn't make it to the swimming pool, there was always the sprinkler or slip-n-slide. Who didn't love the slip-n-slide? When you did happen to catch it on just the right part, you could zoom across the yard. However, land on a part without water and you would get a burn on your knee like no other! For the most bang for your slip-n-slide buck, a bottle of dish washing detergent would really make things interesting! It was always hard to get rid of the huge hole of mud and dead grass on your lawn, but hey, all in the name of fun!
  On the weekends, we would spend time camping at the lake. I'm not sure how my Dad kept his sanity all those years taking us to the lake. Tangled fishing lines, sleeping in a tent and kids fussing in the heat of the day were enough to drive someone berserk.  I guess you just don't notice those things when you are making memories.
   Parades, cookouts, homemade ice cream and the sound of locusts. Please tell me I was not the only kid who would see how many locust shells would cling to my shirt......
   Summer memories that won't soon be forgotten. What are yours?